To fully appreciate the following description of the roads in Ireland, please first find Robin Williams monologue of golf on You Tube. My post will then make more sense. I’ve tempered the language to appeal to all audiences. You make the appropriate substitution.
This is a conversation between two Irishmen in advance of creating the road system. One is asking the questions, the other is responding.
So you know that people will want to move about the country to see family, shop and get to their fields.
Oh aye. Let’s build some roads to help them.
So the road will be sufficiently wide to let two cars pass comfortably in opposite directions.
Ack noooooo. Why make it so simple.
So what about having a shoulder to the road?
Ack noooo. That’s just a waste of pavement.
Well at least we can add space at the edge of people’s property.
Ack nooooo. People need to build stone walls right up to the edge of the road to have the biggest lawn possible.
Well what about telephone poles? They should be set back from the road.
Ack nooooo. Let’s put them on the edge of the road just because.
OK but then we should trim the hedges so one can see all the road.
Ack noooo. Let the hedges grow as close as possible so they can appreciate Irish greenery as it slaps the outside mirrors.
Alright but what about lines on the road to show the edge and middle of the road?
Ack noooo. That’s just a waste of paint. Let them decide what’s their side.
Given all the rolling countryside it will be easy to build roads in a straight line.
Ack noooo. We’ll put in dozens of tight, blind turns just to see what the driver is made of.
We will have to build separate roads for the farm tractors to move from field to field.
Ack noooo. Let the big buggers go where they want and at whatever speed they want.
So given all of these building ideas of course we’ll have a low speed limit to make it safe.
Ack noooo. The greater the speed the more fun. In fact, let’s give a country lane a speed limit of 100 KPH just to bring it all together.
One final question. Since most of the world has left hand drive we should follow suit.
Ack noooo. Let the foreigners figure it out as they go so we can send them home shaking their heads.
Having “survived” nearly a month driving a rental car on the “wrong” side, going down country lanes with ridiculously limited pavement, having zero visibility past hedges and sharp curves and facing oncoming cars doing the insane posted speed limit, we look forward to heading home in one piece. Ironically the Irish rental car system charges a daily insurance fee even if you decline any coverage. I guess their experience knows better. Safe travels to anyone who takes on the Irish road system. Cheers.
The Bennetts On Tour 